One in a Million

Tonight I started a my new job as a server at Red Robin. I am excited about this job for so many reasons. Of course, financial income is a major benefit of being thus employed, but I am excited about it for more reasons than that. I am excited about it because I love being a server. I love being surprised by the people at my tables, and by finding the power within me to make their meal a memorable experience. I love making my guests smile, and being part of a team that provides really delicious, quality food and a first rate environment.

I was telling my friend Ben today that the first time I was a server, it took me a long time to learn not to be greedy. I got caught up in the rush of making money, always being aware of how much my tables were spending, how much I had sold in the shift, what my tips were looking like and what my estimated earnings would be for the night. If I made good money, I was happy, but if things were slow, I was sour. My work revolved entirely around how much I made, and, while there were some highlights in this time (like the double shift when I sold 2,000 dollars worth of food or the night when a guy tipped me 53 dollars in cash), it ultimately left me being ruled by money, and on the days when the money was bad, I was not a happy camper.

I suppose this might sound normal. In my experience, a lot of waiters think this way, but part of the reason why I am so excited to begin this job is that I no longer do. As I was telling Ben today, I remember clearly when I started leaving this way of thinking.

I remember the day I decided to pay for the bill of a semi-homeless man who was taking up one of my oh-so-precious tables (we only got three at a time, and he was just having a drink and an appetizer and not spending a lot of money). I had been getting frustrated with him because of the hypothetical money he was costing me by taking up my table when I felt led to move in the opposite spirit, and cover his bill for him. He was thankful, and I was beyond blessed. I traded frustration and greed for the sheer joy of giving.

On another day, I suggested to my friends Jon and Kelsey that we pool our tips at the end of the night. Instead of each earning our own money, we would take our tips out at the end of the night, throw them in a pile and divide them three ways. We wouldn’t know who made more or who made less – we were in this thing together! And oh man, it felt great! Kelsey would pop over and glowingly tell me that a table left us a big tip. I’d get left a terrible tip and Jon and Kelsey were there to commiserate with me. And when the night was over, we had the excitement of finding out how much we had made together – and it always averaged out well, if not high! But more than the money, I was building friendships, I was feeling loved, and that made the night so much richer.

Near the time I stopped working at The Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. (the restaurant I worked at before), I think I had mostly realized that if I did what I did because I loved it – because I wanted to serve my guests and co-operate with my fellow workers, I left feeling empowered and loved, no matter what the money looked like. As I go into this new job at Red Robin, it is my hope that I will live that way. That I will do what I do out of love, and take pride in what I do as an extension of who I am. I hope that, no matter how good or bad the night is financially, I will leave knowing I put a smile on someone’s face, and loved the people in front of me well.

My Choir director, Dr. Joel Navarro, shared a video on facebook the other day of an Indian chef who quit his job and began feeding the poor and the dying. The joy in his face is apparent as he talks about serving food to and loving the poorest of the poor. With a huge smile on his face, he says “What is the ultimate purpose of life? It’s to give. Start giving! See the joy of giving!”

The CNN anchors who introduced the video clip about him said this: “A young chef had a great future, and he gave it all up.” He is referring to his “bright future” as his budding career at a five star hotel, with an upcoming promotion to Switzerland, earning euros and dollars. The irony, or perhaps the beauty, of it is that he didn’t give up his bright future – he found a brighter one!

Jesus put it this way:

“If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.” (New Living Translation)

And, again:

“Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” (NLT)

It has been true in my life experience time and time again that when I stop focusing on myself and start giving, I find myself so full of joy and life to be so rewarding. I smile more. I laugh more. I sleep better at night, and I live with a sense of purpose, hope and anticipation.

This is why teaching in South Korea this summer was such a rich experience. I wasn’t there for the money, I was there to serve. The money was nice to have, and I needed it, but I was doing what I was doing out of a desire to love, and that sustained me through the nights of less-than-enough sleep and the long days, the cultural differences and the many conflicts.

I believe with all my heart that we are made to love and that when we do, we are most fully alive. We are made to not worry about ourselves and to be in a perpetual state of ecstatic giving, filled with joy and love and pride in what we do. We are made to lift each other up, and be in this thing together.

This morning my trainer made an offhand remark about why people work. “Lets face it,” she said, “we’re in this for the money. That’s why people work. I mean, there might be some people out there who actually  do what they do because they love it, but they’re like, one in a million” I grieved inside as I heard her say it because I knew it was at least close to being true.

But does it have to be?

If I could have three wishes, one would definitely be that every single person in the world loved what they did. That they woke up in the morning with anticipation for the upcoming day, and they were inspired to excel at what out of love for their fellow human beings and as an extension of their unique gifts and abilities.While millions of people working just because they need the money might create a productive world, it will never produce the flourishing that I think we all, deep down inside, desire. For a dazzling world of creativity, beauty, harmony and love to exist, we must, each and every one of us, being inspired. We must love what we do, and do it together.

We must love each other.

Steve Jobs, the brilliant innovator, entrepreneur and inventor who was at the heart of the success of Apple and Pixar, in his commencement address to the 2005 graduating class at Stanford said it this way: “You’ve got to find what you love, and that is as true for work as it is for your lovers.  Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truely satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you’ve found it, and as with any great relationship, it just gets better and better, so keep looking, and don’t settle.” He continues, later in his address, saying, “for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror and asked myself, ‘if today was the last day of my life, would i want to do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

Do we all need money? Yes, we do. But there is something we need more than that, something we desire more deeply – and that is love. When we stop doing what we do for what is in it for us – for the money, or the power or what we hope it will give to us, and instead start doing what we can to give and loving what we do; when we start serving and collaborating rather than competing, we come alive in a way that money can never bring. There might be only one in a million people like that out there today, but I believe the potential is inside us all to live like that. Lets live that way!